Lessons from a heartbroken dad
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Email to friendI hesitated writing this, but if it could keep another parents and Cadets from going through what I am going through, then I need to send it.
My son was just expelled from FUMA.
He brought in something he should not have "just one time" and that was enough. It absolutely killed me and my son. My son LOVED FUMA. He was built for the military. Did great in classes, had lots of friends and everything was looking great. This was a stepping stone to VMI that ended in a moment.
MANY kids brings "stuff" back from their leaves and sell it to others with hopes they won't get caught. DON'T BE AFRAID TO SEARCH YOUR KIDS BAGS BEFORE HE COMES BACK FROM LEAVE!!! That's my lesson.
I know most are you are saying..."kdad's kid must have issues. My kid would never do that." That's what I thought about my son. He'd never do such a thing. But with the "underground" money these kids can make, its enticing to them. When you can make $10 on a $1 can of Scoal, thats exiting to a kid.
We both miss FUMA!!!!
Good luck,
KDad
He brought in something he should not have "just one time" and that was enough. It absolutely killed me and my son. My son LOVED FUMA. He was built for the military. Did great in classes, had lots of friends and everything was looking great. This was a stepping stone to VMI that ended in a moment.
KDad
Hello KDad...
I sorry for this unfortunate event!!!
And yes unfortunatly all it take's is one time...
I will be sure to pray for you and your family as you guys get through this tough time...
I used to be sooo proud to see him in that uniform and brag about my son attending FUMA. We'd go to Wal-Mart and he'd have that uniform on. Boy that was a good feeling to watch other parents smile to see a teenager in a uniform.
But now, I can't even look at the uniform. I have to turn the radio station off when I hear a FUMA commercial. I try to avoid any conversations with family and freinds about how he's doing at FUMA.
It sounds like its just about me...but its not. Its about how I see such a lost opportunity for my son. I have told him that the investment of his 5 months and my $30K would be worth every day and every dollar if he would hold onto those values and disciplines gained at FUMA. He doesn't HAVE TO be at FUMA to learn about respect, discipline, good study habits and etc.
He knows what he needs to do. I pray he will make the right choices.
kdad
kdad, sorry to hear this has happened.
**Edited the rest.**
Sorry to hear about your son it would be heart breaking. I stress with my 12 yr old to not do stuff like this how bad it can be. It's little things they think are o.k. and are not. What did you do with his uniforms looking for used ones. e-mail
I firmly believe that young people cannot truly experience success unless that have also tasted failure. Failure is one of life's best teaching tools, and I'm confident that your son can use this bad decision and bad outcome to grow and develop in an even more positive way. Our prayers and thoughts are with you.
CaptDan
My son had his roomate expelled last year for contraban. It made a big imnpact on my boy.
My role? I help him do the right thing.
We do an "equipment check" when I drop my son off at school after a day pass or leave.
If he "can't find" something like his MP3 player... I don't look the other way or believe some story... I decided I'm not going to be a co-conspirator by doing nothing. I tell him I'm not leaving until he finds it. Amazingly it shows up.
I used to tell him... I'm out $30,000 if you get kicked out.
He got it. He understood that both of us were in this together.
Now as a senior, he's developed a system... he's learned to leave items that are not allowed at school, on the car dashboard in plain site so I can easily see it. It's a ritual. We work together to make sure nothing gets... left in a pocket.. by mistake.
The best part is that he has bought into... not destroying his career at FUMA. Seeing others expelled has made him understand.. he had to take this sort of thing seriously or its all over.
Simply put.. It teaches accountability.
My heartaches for both of you.
Adolescent temptations are so strong and unfortunately, they are everywhere, even at FUMA. I hope that your son will in time, turn this situation around and learn from his mistake. As parents, that is all we can hope for...
I am so sorry and wish the best for you and your son. I know your heart is heavy. Please know that you guys will be in my thoughts and prayers in the days ahead.