Parents' Weekend

I agree Cindy, the seminar would definitely be an excellent addition to Orientation.

The topics that were covered in the seminar included the following:
Discipline and Control
Motivation and Positive Reinforcement
Establishing Appropriate Expectations
Values on Clarification and Instructions
Educational Management: Accessing student performance and
Communication with Teachers

I am sure that each set of parents went home with different "light bulb moments" as Dr. Hensley poured out his valuable information. I hope they too will share their thoughts here.

First and foremost, it was stressed that the seminar was not directed to our sons, rather to us Parents.

Dr. Hensley discussed how Courage comes from accomplishment. (FUMA focuses on Courage) Courage being the attribute that we are looking for in our sons, not positive self esteem. I cannot give my son positive self-esteem. (Public School System focuses on positive self-esteem.)

There is No Punishment at FUMA. FUMA is about discipline. What happens when you remove punishment and replace it with discipline ~ you get freedom. Our sons are being set free at FUMA.

Discipline is equivalent to Love / Lifestyle

Discipline provides security and safety. It is a lifestyle. Routine, stability, structure, you can predict what everyone is going to do, sameness, and security. Discipline offers appropriate expectations - reasonable expectations, you can be somebody. Discipline is always proactive with regard to consequences. You learn to control yourself by managing the system "a democracy". It always has rewards - not rewarded by the parents - but rather the rewards gained by managing the system. Discipline is a management system - so is Life.

Punishment is equivalent to Harm

Punishment is a negative response to an event. It is always personal, i.e. emotions rule. It teaches avoidance - encourages lying/manipulation/inconsistency. Punishment is reactive vs. proactive - "I'm doing this to you", rather than this is the consequence for your behavior.

There was so much more presented, but I am sharing my light bulb moment from the presentation. Prior to FUMA we were doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result = insanity. We left the seminar realizing that what we need to work on establishing at home is a new "Management System". All of which is described above and basically mirrors what FUMA has created that has not been changed for over 100 years. AND IT WORKS!!!!

To testify, over the weekend leave our son said, "I am Proud to be a FUMA Cadet". When asked why he replied, "Because it takes alot of COURAGE to do what we are expected to do. It also takes a lot of responsibility and hard work. = ACCOMPLISHMENT.!!

Dr. Hensley told us not to be impatient. It takes approximately 1 year to see the results. He is being transformed from the public school mentality of "It's cool to fail or just do enough to get by" to FUMA mentality "It's cool to be smart". The longer they can stay at FUMA, the better the success story!!!

Continuing on with our Success Story!!!

Mrs. Evans, it was definitely a pleasure to meet you this weekend (I may have met you in the past) but things are often quite busy and hectic and it doesn't sink in until later. All of your posts on the Forum are a help to Dan and I and your wealth of knowledge is a blessing in answering parent questions.

Mrs. Melton and I did have a blast with the costumes - we will have to come up with another strategy next year and maybe add a little spice to the outfit - Look for our special Cajun recipe!

I agree that this Parents Weekend has been one of the best in the five years I have been at the Academy!! I will share your comments with others!